Tired of the same old math, science, statistics, and programming memes people post online and want something a little more elaborate? This is the book for you.



Tremble as we make up all our own facts and data, hand-draw diagrams in MS Paint, and quote from fictional studies and journals. Cower as authors write in the first person because their study is just a little too personal for them. Recoil from the sheer mass of oversimplified methodology, distilling someone's entire thesis into a paragraph of jokes crude enough to make it into a Mike Myers movie.



Over the last few years, we have taken arguments that you would normally have after four Jack and cokes at game night and turned them into properly formatted research papers with a writing tone serious enough to confuse the uninitiated. These papers are high-effort jokes by researchers and scientists for researchers and scientists. They cover a range of topics such as the consequences of re-releasing tourists back into Yellowstone National Park after COVID-19, how to play StarCraft competitively online on a quantum computer, and most importantly, how trees around the globe are becoming increasingly radicalized.

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Spis treści

Et al. Because not all research deserves a Nobel Prize eBook -- spis treści

• 1. The Pirate Kitty Theory: How a House Cat Being
• 2. Cows All the Way Down: Could Cow-Based Planetoids Support Methane Atmospheres?
• 3. Ecological Impacts of Re-Releasing Tourists into Yellowstone
• 4. The Great Rabbit War of 863AD: Myth or Historical Fact?
• 5. The Cat Homing Infrared Laser Drone Defense (CHILD) System: A Novel Approach to Suburban Defense
• 6. The Sarah Palin Mandela Effect: How America Believes in a Fictional Politician
• 7. Utilitarianism, Shame, and Mysticism: Autonomous Vehicle Moral Compass Design and Analysis
• 8. A Comparative Analysis of Trevor’s Mom: Age Estimation Methodology
• 9. Adaptive Smart Grids for Migratory Government Drones
• 10. Tracking International Communism Through Mycorrhizal Networks
• 11. Markov Models for Ruining Your Weekend: A Comparative Study
• 12. Novel Techniques for Random Number Generation: Toddler Behavioral Sampling
• 13. Computer Vision Object Permanence Detection Algorithm for My Clingy Robot Dog
• 14. Flavortown in the Brain: Localizing Generators of Hedonic Food Response in the Forebrains of Foodies
• 15. A Particle Physics Model of Why My Room Is Never Clean and Why My Mommy Shouldn’t Put Me In Time-Out for Something That’s Not My Fault
• 16. Me and My Best Friend Prove the 3n+1 Problem Even Though It's a REALLY Hard Problem
• 17. A Loopy Belief Propagation Factor Graph Simulation of My Grandma Nonna’s Insane Facebook Feed
• 18. Dietetic Benefits of Simple Carbohydrates and Bovine Byproduct in Low Earth Orbit
• 19. There Can Be No True Scottish Spoken Language System
• 20. Quantum Computing Applications in Competitive StarCraft
• 21. Full-Cycle Banana Fission Reactor Design and Analysis
• 22. A Computationally Efficient Solution to the SLAM Problem in Houses of Mirrors
• 23. Ray Tracing and the Optical Design of Healing-Crystal-Constructed Adaptive Optics